Building Sustainable Behavioral Change

When It Comes To Your Professional Development

– How do you build sustainable behavioral change when it’s just you?

 

Stephen Covey wrote in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that to learn something and not apply it is not to learn it all.  The research indicates that corporations spend billions of dollars every year for training and development but there is little proof that there is a good return on the investment.  Much has been written about the neutral effects of a training course if a participant goes back to the same environment without a change to support the new learning.  So how do you keep the learning new when it’s just you – you have to be willing and motivated to make a personal commitment to apply the new knowledge you have acquired.  In Laszlo Bock’s book Work Rules [the Google story] – he states “the best is always the least” when it comes to training.  I like to say that simple gets done and complicated gets forgotten!

 

When it comes to keeping the learning new two time-proven methods have always been successful.  The first is to practice, practice, practice!   Practice makes progress!  Find easy ways to remind yourself of staying focused on what you’ve learned.  For example, get yourself a wall calendar that squares off the days of each month.  Borrowing from Marshall Goldsmith’s – What Got You Here Won’t Get You There – ask yourself at the end of each day the same question by starting out with – “Did I do my best to apply what I have learned” or another appropriate question.  Then on the calendar at the end of each day give yourself a ‘Y’ or ‘N’ and at the end of the month you will have your report card.

 

The second method of successfully applying your new learning is when you talk about it every chance you get.  Another way to think of this is to teach it to as many people as possible.  When you teach it and answer questions about what you have learned it sticks!  Make it a point to teach someone different every day and use the wall calendar report card to chart your progress. 

 

Bock also challenges corporations to consider using an internal high performer to train and/or coach the same department and presents a compelling argument based on the data that demonstrates how using your “best person” can generate an exponential return on investment.  Additionally, Bock suggests only seek out training and development courses that focus on behavioral change as a way to measure a program’s effectiveness.

 

As a coach and trainer, I incorporate these methods into the program and follow up with the participants to hold them accountable.   Company training satisfaction rates increase when behavioral change can be linked to the investment made in providing training to their employees. 

So to build sustainable behavioral change:

·       Keep it simple!

·       Practice, practice, practice!

·       Teach it!

·       Chart your progress!

For more information visit CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com.  I recently created an excellent four hour workshop based upon the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People.  Ask me how it can work for you!

 

4 of my top inspirational videos

My gift to you

4 of my top inspirational videos 

This is a time of year that has many mixed reactions for so many people that I thought I would share four of my favorite [warning: tear jerkers – have some Kleenex handy] inspirational videos that I think everyone should see at least once.  To me, these four short little clips capture the essence of all that we are and can be in relationship to those who mean the most to us in life. 

The first clip is actually a commercial and it shows the relationship between a father and son and their growth through the years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXPyIv2WLdI

The second video is about how a seemingly uneventful and yet generous experience could have a lasting memory and powerful effect on both the original giver and receiver.

http://www.simpletruths.com/movies/most-inspirational-videos.html

The third video is about keeping in mind what is important and living your life through kindness and caring.  I think many of us would either want to be the giver or the receiver in this situation.

http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/someone-who-cares/

Lastly, the fourth clip shows how the simplest little things we do in life can have such a lasting impression and memory to those we love unconditionally.

http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/lifes-moments/

I really hope you enjoy my selections.  May you have a wonderful and memory-filled holiday season.

For more information visit CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com

Simple Delights

Searching For Delight In The Everyday Things

 

During the holidays each year seems to try and out do the one before.  Retailers are always raising the bar by marketing and selling the next new shiny object.  Technology moves at such an incredibly rapid rate that there is always something improved that makes what we have obsolete.  I hear a lot of people complain that the holidays have become too commercialized and how stressed out they are for so many reasons.  Taking you back once again to the book Mind Power by John Kehoe – the obvious question is – what are you making yourself conscious of everyday with your daily thoughts?  Remember that in order to change your reality the first and foremost thing you must do is change what you are conscious of.

 

With that in mind and integrating the title of this into some suggestions, why not give the following a try?  Make a daily “surprise” calendar for yourself just like the ones kids use during this time of year.  It is usually shaped like a tree or house with all these different doors/flaps that you open to reveal the treasure of the day.  Create a list for 30 days or whatever feels comfortable.  Give yourself a keyword that will help find the delight in the day.  For example, day one could be about searching for delight in helping someone who needs assistance by holding a door open or paying someone you don’t know a kind word or whatever seems interesting to you.  Another day’s word could be about searching for the delight in someone’s smile.  Try focusing your attention on finding delight in the ordinary or in other words be mindful of simple pleasures.

 

Additionally, I suggest keeping a daily journal and sharing it with someone you care about, possibly an accountability partner.  The discipline will be light and the reward immense.  This practice can also be a way of growing the relationship and permitting yourself to be vulnerable, which by the way is always the sign of strength.  Remember it is not the oak tree that stands unruffled after a severe storm but the gentle blade of grass.

 

I hope you have a wonderful and delight filled holiday season.

http://CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com

Sensing to Belong

We are all part of the machine

As a psychologist, I think many people become anxious and depressed this time of year when they feel like they don’t belong with family or friends or social gatherings.  When I hear this kind of comment it reminds me of the following quote from the movie Hugo:

 

I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too…Hugo Cabret

 

The declaration came from the character that lives hidden in a train station.  While Hugo maintains his existence concealed from those around him, he longs to make connection with other people.  Our culture likes to highlight and memorialize the stand alone, the ‘I did it all by myself’ character, which further emphasizes a lack of belonging a distancing as it were.  And yet connection to other people is what is needed most when looking to belong. 

 

Technology has also played a big part in helping people distance themselves from others and shares in the responsibility in creating these perceived insurmountable gaps in relationships.  If a sense of belonging is important to you then I would first suggest making yourself conscious of it everyday.  You could start with a simple affirmation every morning when you wake up, saying something like – I feel connected and close to my family (or my friends or my community).

 

It takes effort on our part and no one is responsible for creating our reality other than ourselves.  The interesting thing to note is that other people feel the same way you do and are looking for a way to connect and relate. 

 

Remember to search for the delight in your relationships, even the relationship with self! 

 

Finding the Gratitude in the Grit, Grime & Glum

Finding the Gratitude in the Grit, Grime & Glum

…gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture…Kak Sri

Well it’s that time of year again when the holidays roll around and we make concentrated efforts to be grateful.  It is easy to be grateful from all the abundance that is in our lives, depending on your situation, maybe that is family, friends, opportunities, new home, new car, new job, vacation, etc.  My challenge – using the metaphor of the rose – is to be grateful, really grateful for the thorns.  What have you experienced this year that was down right hard, maybe even unbearable but that you came out the other end?  Think about being grateful for the challenges you had to face. 

A few years back, I had a broken ankle.  At the time I lived on the top floor of a two-story apartment building.   Climbing up and down the stairs was quite a challenge with the cast, crutches, groceries and the like.  I remember catching myself complaining periodically about the number of steps there were to traverse.  Until one day, I realized that I had taken my good health for granted and never expressed gratitude for something as simple as climbing stairs.  Once healed, I never forgot the lesson of how grateful to have full mobility without injury and to be able to get around freely without limitations.

You must have had your fair share of trials and tribulations possibly this year.  So ask yourself – what did I learn and how can I be grateful for the thorns of adversity that I have been blessed enough to receive?  Gratitude is not just meant for the good and sweet things we encounter and experience in our everyday lives but also in the challenges we face.  So what are you grateful for this Thanksgiving Holiday that has helped you grow and become a better you?

Visit my YouTube Channel to view my latest video on living with more gratitude.

 

"Whether you think you can or think you can't... your right!

Like Henry Ford said…”whether you think you can or can’t – you’re right” – it’s really that simple!

 

I am amazed at how many people I talk to who keep telling themselves that life is complicated and tough.  I have spent the last three months reading and re-reading Covey’s – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as part of a research project. One of my favorite quotes from the book is – “we do not see the world as it is but as we are!” And like Henry Ford’s quote says, I don’t doubt for one minute that for these people in particular their lives are just that – complicated and tough!  However, there really is a choice for your life and guess what – it’s really that simple. 

 

So many great writers of the past have told us time and again that how we think determines our life, our reality.  Recently I started following the work of John Kehoe, who is one of those writers.  I find his way of explaining how our mind works to be anything short of amazing. Kehoe stresses that our circumstances and situations never keep us down – it is our thoughts that keep us stuck. 

 

So learn to regularly feed your consciousness so that your situation can change – it’s really that simple! Change your thoughts and feed them daily, just like tending a garden Kehoe says, and harvest the rewards of a well-maintained mind.

Can you write at least one thank you?

On January first of this year, following up on the Happiness Advantage work of Shawn Achor and inspired by John Kralik’s book; A Simple Act of Gratitude, I decided to take on the ambitious task of writing 365 hand written thank you notes.  I find myself at the beginning of my fourth month and to date I have not missed writing a single note.  

So at the end of March, I have written 90 thank you notes.  Of those 90 notes, half of the people receiving them have responded back to me – even though I had no expectations.

There have been no remarkable comments to highlight, other than I continue to feel motivated and determined to complete this inspiring journey.  I read a quote from a daily meditation on the website www.livinglifefully.com that really stuck with me about persistence and success…roughly translated it is about “doing something in life longer than anyone else in order to become successful.”

At every possible opportunity I share my journey, challenging people to write at least one “thank you”.  I like to talk to people about the one person in their life that they feel deserves to be thanked.   Most people comment to me that they do not know 365 different people.  I share with them that as an introvert my circle of reach and influence may not be all that broad, but I believe there are certainly 365 people in my life that have helped me – some I may have not met yet; I have no doubt that I will.  

My challenge to you as a leader: consider taking a 21 day challenge by writing out thank you notes to the people who have made a difference in your career.  I further challenge you to stretch and reach out to strained relationships, as well.  See what happens…you just might be pleasantly surprised! 

My Happiness Project – February Month End Update

As the month of February ended, I remained ever committed to finishing my project.  I kept the names of each person in a Word document separated by months and numbered by days.  Recently, I discovered that I am somewhat of an over-achiever in that I have already started filling the month of April with names.

It’s interesting to note that I have heard back from approximately 50% of the people I sent notes to by the end of February.  There were a couple of funny stories that went along with a few of the people I acknowledged.  One person became concerned that since it was only my name that appeared on the thank you. He wondered if I had somehow ended the relationship with my fiancé.  Another person responded with condolences thinking that I was dying of cancer and wanted to make amends before it was too late.  While I find the responses amusing, it also tells me how unaccustomed people are to receiving sincere forms of gratitude.

Two people whom I had chosen to acknowledge involved strained relationships.  Both of their responses however, will keep me motivated and inspired to finish the journey.  This Simple Act of Gratitude really does heal wounds and builds bridges.  It was amazing and completely unexpected to hear from both them.  One of them shared how deeply touched he was by my note and the fact that I took the time to hand write it.  I had not spoken to the other person in over six years and I had left no contact information, yet she went out of her way to reach out to me.  It was a tearful event for me – hearing her voice after all that time had passed.

My personal experience of this journey so far can best be described as energizing and exhilarating.  Quoting the famous Zig Ziglar –

“The healthiest of human emotions is Gratitude!”  

I totally get that – it does feel healthy to continue to do this every single day…and so my journey continues.

For more information on how to use these and other practices to enhance your life, please contact me at info@crossthefinishlinecoaching.com.

Improving Productivity & Employee Engagement

Many companies struggle with getting the “more out of less” from their employees and can benefit significantly by taking on the following 21 day challenge that is guaranteed to improve employee: moral, engagement, productivity and ultimately success.  The fact is that it will not take more than 10 minutes daily to complete the three simple tasks.  Research has clearly demonstrated the benefits that these actions, when taken consistently, will deliver all that is promised.

In no particular order the three simple tasks are as follows:

1. Exercise – You don’t need to join a health club or run a marathon – e.g. consider taking the stairs instead of the elevator; park your car a little farther away from your office; do some push-ups.

2. Meditate – Meditation is defined as spending quiet, uninterrupted time focusing on a single concept or nothing at all or as some yoga practitioners refer to it as “quieting one’s mind”.  There is a plethora of meditation websites on the Internet if you need something more structured – [e.g. www.livinglifefully.com].

3. Hand Written Thank You Notes – on a daily basis you are responsible for writing one hand written thank you note.  It can go to anyone – a boss, a spouse, a partner, an enemy, someone who has made life your easier, happier or whatever.  The only rule is nothing electronic such as emails, texts or iMessages – it has to be hand written or printed.

Try these simple task for 21 days.  I, as well as many others, would be interested to read about your amazing, and in some cases, life-changing stories.  Please feel free to leave a comment. 

For more information on how to use these and other practices to enhance your life, please contact me at info@crossthefinishlinecoaching.com. 

Happiness Project - 2014: The year of living gratefully

Through A Simple Act of Gratitude!

Last fall I was introduced to Shawn Achor’s TED talk on The Happiness Advantage. (See my post from November 25, 2013) With the gentle urging of a good friend, we decided to take on the 21-day challenge outlined in his talk. Each day, without exception, for three weeks we: Exercised; Meditated; Practiced Random Acts of Kindness; Chose Three New Things Each Day to be Grateful; and Kept A Journal About One Positive Experience. The results were, as claimed would happen, I was more productive and yes, happier! Since I consider myself to be pretty optimistic in the first place, it was nice to discover that I could be even happier.

Now the real challenge for me came after the 21 days were up and how to maintain that level of happiness and productivity. Wanting to build on an Attitude of Gratitude, I decided to look into John Kralik’s book: A Simple Act Of Gratitude. As his life seemed to be spinning out of control, he was inspired to write a thank you note everyday for 365 days.  The actions that Kralik took as a result of his life’s desperate circumstances is what intrigued and inspired me to take on my own personal journey of hand-writing 365 notes for this year.

With January behind, I wanted to share my experiences to date with this ambitious goal. The first thank you note that I wrote went to my fiancé. I felt it was the only “appropriate” way to start such an adventure with the person closest to me and on whose love and support I count on most. Each day as I write the note, I record in a Word document the name of the person I honored that day. A few of the written notes brought tears to my eyes as I think how much I value this person or how much she or he has helped me in my life. Even though I have no expectations other than to be able to give freely of my thoughts and feelings, I have received many blessings in return.

I have received a few kind words in return and one in particular was from a person I had worked with but had not previously sent him a thank you. I have been complimented on my work, had two pieces of business renew and have strengthened some friendships. One very unexpected surprise came from one of my recipients who I have not been particularly fond of – after receiving the note, he purposely told me how moved he was by the gesture and even more so because it was hand written. In that experience alone, I found a surge of inspiration and motivation to continue my quest.

I am not a procrastinator when I have a stated goal and this is no different. I have allowed myself to write a few days into the future but always finding time daily to write at least one thank you. I am following Kralik’s pattern pretty closely in that I will not use any electronic means to communicate my gratitude. I will either hand deliver or use postal mail. I am not restricting my reach by geographical boundaries even though I live in the United States. One of my recipients lives in Bangkok. I have not exhausted notes to my family or friends and have given notes to those that have been kind to me whom I did not know. Since I keep a list it is fun to look back and now that one month is already past to see who I had chosen to thank that day.

So if you could only write one thank you today – who would be the most important person in your life that you would want to express your gratitude towards?

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