Sensing to Belong

We are all part of the machine

As a psychologist, I think many people become anxious and depressed this time of year when they feel like they don’t belong with family or friends or social gatherings.  When I hear this kind of comment it reminds me of the following quote from the movie Hugo:

 

I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too…Hugo Cabret

 

The declaration came from the character that lives hidden in a train station.  While Hugo maintains his existence concealed from those around him, he longs to make connection with other people.  Our culture likes to highlight and memorialize the stand alone, the ‘I did it all by myself’ character, which further emphasizes a lack of belonging a distancing as it were.  And yet connection to other people is what is needed most when looking to belong. 

 

Technology has also played a big part in helping people distance themselves from others and shares in the responsibility in creating these perceived insurmountable gaps in relationships.  If a sense of belonging is important to you then I would first suggest making yourself conscious of it everyday.  You could start with a simple affirmation every morning when you wake up, saying something like – I feel connected and close to my family (or my friends or my community).

 

It takes effort on our part and no one is responsible for creating our reality other than ourselves.  The interesting thing to note is that other people feel the same way you do and are looking for a way to connect and relate. 

 

Remember to search for the delight in your relationships, even the relationship with self!