Building Sustainable Behavioral Change

When It Comes To Your Professional Development

– How do you build sustainable behavioral change when it’s just you?

 

Stephen Covey wrote in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that to learn something and not apply it is not to learn it all.  The research indicates that corporations spend billions of dollars every year for training and development but there is little proof that there is a good return on the investment.  Much has been written about the neutral effects of a training course if a participant goes back to the same environment without a change to support the new learning.  So how do you keep the learning new when it’s just you – you have to be willing and motivated to make a personal commitment to apply the new knowledge you have acquired.  In Laszlo Bock’s book Work Rules [the Google story] – he states “the best is always the least” when it comes to training.  I like to say that simple gets done and complicated gets forgotten!

 

When it comes to keeping the learning new two time-proven methods have always been successful.  The first is to practice, practice, practice!   Practice makes progress!  Find easy ways to remind yourself of staying focused on what you’ve learned.  For example, get yourself a wall calendar that squares off the days of each month.  Borrowing from Marshall Goldsmith’s – What Got You Here Won’t Get You There – ask yourself at the end of each day the same question by starting out with – “Did I do my best to apply what I have learned” or another appropriate question.  Then on the calendar at the end of each day give yourself a ‘Y’ or ‘N’ and at the end of the month you will have your report card.

 

The second method of successfully applying your new learning is when you talk about it every chance you get.  Another way to think of this is to teach it to as many people as possible.  When you teach it and answer questions about what you have learned it sticks!  Make it a point to teach someone different every day and use the wall calendar report card to chart your progress. 

 

Bock also challenges corporations to consider using an internal high performer to train and/or coach the same department and presents a compelling argument based on the data that demonstrates how using your “best person” can generate an exponential return on investment.  Additionally, Bock suggests only seek out training and development courses that focus on behavioral change as a way to measure a program’s effectiveness.

 

As a coach and trainer, I incorporate these methods into the program and follow up with the participants to hold them accountable.   Company training satisfaction rates increase when behavioral change can be linked to the investment made in providing training to their employees. 

So to build sustainable behavioral change:

·       Keep it simple!

·       Practice, practice, practice!

·       Teach it!

·       Chart your progress!

For more information visit CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com.  I recently created an excellent four hour workshop based upon the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People.  Ask me how it can work for you!

 

4 of my top inspirational videos

My gift to you

4 of my top inspirational videos 

This is a time of year that has many mixed reactions for so many people that I thought I would share four of my favorite [warning: tear jerkers – have some Kleenex handy] inspirational videos that I think everyone should see at least once.  To me, these four short little clips capture the essence of all that we are and can be in relationship to those who mean the most to us in life. 

The first clip is actually a commercial and it shows the relationship between a father and son and their growth through the years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXPyIv2WLdI

The second video is about how a seemingly uneventful and yet generous experience could have a lasting memory and powerful effect on both the original giver and receiver.

http://www.simpletruths.com/movies/most-inspirational-videos.html

The third video is about keeping in mind what is important and living your life through kindness and caring.  I think many of us would either want to be the giver or the receiver in this situation.

http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/someone-who-cares/

Lastly, the fourth clip shows how the simplest little things we do in life can have such a lasting impression and memory to those we love unconditionally.

http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/lifes-moments/

I really hope you enjoy my selections.  May you have a wonderful and memory-filled holiday season.

For more information visit CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com

Simple Delights

Searching For Delight In The Everyday Things

 

During the holidays each year seems to try and out do the one before.  Retailers are always raising the bar by marketing and selling the next new shiny object.  Technology moves at such an incredibly rapid rate that there is always something improved that makes what we have obsolete.  I hear a lot of people complain that the holidays have become too commercialized and how stressed out they are for so many reasons.  Taking you back once again to the book Mind Power by John Kehoe – the obvious question is – what are you making yourself conscious of everyday with your daily thoughts?  Remember that in order to change your reality the first and foremost thing you must do is change what you are conscious of.

 

With that in mind and integrating the title of this into some suggestions, why not give the following a try?  Make a daily “surprise” calendar for yourself just like the ones kids use during this time of year.  It is usually shaped like a tree or house with all these different doors/flaps that you open to reveal the treasure of the day.  Create a list for 30 days or whatever feels comfortable.  Give yourself a keyword that will help find the delight in the day.  For example, day one could be about searching for delight in helping someone who needs assistance by holding a door open or paying someone you don’t know a kind word or whatever seems interesting to you.  Another day’s word could be about searching for the delight in someone’s smile.  Try focusing your attention on finding delight in the ordinary or in other words be mindful of simple pleasures.

 

Additionally, I suggest keeping a daily journal and sharing it with someone you care about, possibly an accountability partner.  The discipline will be light and the reward immense.  This practice can also be a way of growing the relationship and permitting yourself to be vulnerable, which by the way is always the sign of strength.  Remember it is not the oak tree that stands unruffled after a severe storm but the gentle blade of grass.

 

I hope you have a wonderful and delight filled holiday season.

http://CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com

Sensing to Belong

We are all part of the machine

As a psychologist, I think many people become anxious and depressed this time of year when they feel like they don’t belong with family or friends or social gatherings.  When I hear this kind of comment it reminds me of the following quote from the movie Hugo:

 

I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason too…Hugo Cabret

 

The declaration came from the character that lives hidden in a train station.  While Hugo maintains his existence concealed from those around him, he longs to make connection with other people.  Our culture likes to highlight and memorialize the stand alone, the ‘I did it all by myself’ character, which further emphasizes a lack of belonging a distancing as it were.  And yet connection to other people is what is needed most when looking to belong. 

 

Technology has also played a big part in helping people distance themselves from others and shares in the responsibility in creating these perceived insurmountable gaps in relationships.  If a sense of belonging is important to you then I would first suggest making yourself conscious of it everyday.  You could start with a simple affirmation every morning when you wake up, saying something like – I feel connected and close to my family (or my friends or my community).

 

It takes effort on our part and no one is responsible for creating our reality other than ourselves.  The interesting thing to note is that other people feel the same way you do and are looking for a way to connect and relate. 

 

Remember to search for the delight in your relationships, even the relationship with self! 

 

Finding the Gratitude in the Grit, Grime & Glum

Finding the Gratitude in the Grit, Grime & Glum

…gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture…Kak Sri

Well it’s that time of year again when the holidays roll around and we make concentrated efforts to be grateful.  It is easy to be grateful from all the abundance that is in our lives, depending on your situation, maybe that is family, friends, opportunities, new home, new car, new job, vacation, etc.  My challenge – using the metaphor of the rose – is to be grateful, really grateful for the thorns.  What have you experienced this year that was down right hard, maybe even unbearable but that you came out the other end?  Think about being grateful for the challenges you had to face. 

A few years back, I had a broken ankle.  At the time I lived on the top floor of a two-story apartment building.   Climbing up and down the stairs was quite a challenge with the cast, crutches, groceries and the like.  I remember catching myself complaining periodically about the number of steps there were to traverse.  Until one day, I realized that I had taken my good health for granted and never expressed gratitude for something as simple as climbing stairs.  Once healed, I never forgot the lesson of how grateful to have full mobility without injury and to be able to get around freely without limitations.

You must have had your fair share of trials and tribulations possibly this year.  So ask yourself – what did I learn and how can I be grateful for the thorns of adversity that I have been blessed enough to receive?  Gratitude is not just meant for the good and sweet things we encounter and experience in our everyday lives but also in the challenges we face.  So what are you grateful for this Thanksgiving Holiday that has helped you grow and become a better you?

Visit my YouTube Channel to view my latest video on living with more gratitude.

 

"Whether you think you can or think you can't... your right!

Like Henry Ford said…”whether you think you can or can’t – you’re right” – it’s really that simple!

 

I am amazed at how many people I talk to who keep telling themselves that life is complicated and tough.  I have spent the last three months reading and re-reading Covey’s – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as part of a research project. One of my favorite quotes from the book is – “we do not see the world as it is but as we are!” And like Henry Ford’s quote says, I don’t doubt for one minute that for these people in particular their lives are just that – complicated and tough!  However, there really is a choice for your life and guess what – it’s really that simple. 

 

So many great writers of the past have told us time and again that how we think determines our life, our reality.  Recently I started following the work of John Kehoe, who is one of those writers.  I find his way of explaining how our mind works to be anything short of amazing. Kehoe stresses that our circumstances and situations never keep us down – it is our thoughts that keep us stuck. 

 

So learn to regularly feed your consciousness so that your situation can change – it’s really that simple! Change your thoughts and feed them daily, just like tending a garden Kehoe says, and harvest the rewards of a well-maintained mind.

The Winning Lottery Ticket

Recently I experienced a life-changing event and wanted to share it with you.  Last year I had the fortunate pleasure to read John Maxwell’s book – The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.  In the book, Maxwell states that, “you can determine where you will be in five years based on the books that you read and the people that surround you.”  As an avid reader, that statement resonated well within me as I thoroughly enjoy learning something new on a fairly frequent basis. 

 

While I have many favorite books and authors, until recently I had only one book that I would emphatically state changed my life and that was Scott Peck’s – The Road Less Traveled.  It was in the pages of that book that I discovered my path in life and that I would become a psychologist.

And the winner is..

Most recently, I have been involved in a research project as a participant involving Stephen Covey’s influential text – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  As a result of that work with Covey, my research partner suggested reading Mind Power by John Kehoe.  I knew the moment I picked it up that I was eager to absorb all that he had written.  Little did I know at first read that this would be the next book that would forever change my life.  You can call it a game changer, a deal maker and above all it is the winning lottery ticket!

 

Kehoe explains, in simple easy to understand language, that in order to have everything in life that you want you just have to start by changing your consciousness and then feed it regularly.  He reports that reality will catch up and stresses that you must first change your consciousness. 

 

As a metaphor, think of this book as not only including the mental workout to achieve all that you want manifested in your life, it also gives you the food to feed it in one convenient place.  As he reminds us, this ability to choose our consciousness has been given to each and everyone of us to use or ignore – it’s our individual choice.  Kehoe and a multitude of other writers have said that same thing – this is how the universe works.

 

It has been fun to think about how many times in my life I had been reminded of this universal truth.  It’s in the title Napoleon Hill’s famous – Think and Grow Rich, it’s not the other way around; you have to start with changing what you are aware of, and what you are feeding yourself, through thought. My own personal journey to become a psychologist started in exactly the way Kehoe asserts.  I changed my consciousness that I was going to be a psychologist and then reality caught up and provided the means.

 

There are plenty of people in the world who do not want to believe this and will tell me that “life is hard” and that “you have to fight for everything you get!”  With a smile on my face and Kehoe’s lesson in mind, I casually respond with Henry Ford’s famous quote – “whether you think you can or cannot, you’re right!”  So if you keep telling yourself how tough life is then you keep feeding your consciousness that it is and just like Kehoe and Ford and a host of many others would agree – you’re right!  So do yourself a favor and go buy your lottery ticket and start enjoying your winnings.